I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize