I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
