called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
