i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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