Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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