He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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