If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
