did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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