I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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