these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
