i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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