You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My penis needs a shock collar
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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