There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Found your dick twin last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
