Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
