Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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