I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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