How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
