i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
