Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize