She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
