Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
