Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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