Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
