You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
