So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
