last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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