omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
