It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
