i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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