Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
