Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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