I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
