i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
