holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
