y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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