He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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