Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize