no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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