Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
