so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
