Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize