I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
