Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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