her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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