of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
