Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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