It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
3 2 1 whiskey
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
