last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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