Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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