so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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