wakey wakey hands off snakey
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone came in the potted fern
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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