Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
babies were throwing up all over the place
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
