he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
