And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
