My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
