I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
