Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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