Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize