Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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