When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
