This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
