its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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