Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Pooping to opera.
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